There is not enough ibuprofin in this ibuprofin

Violent stomach flu. Nausea. 2 hour car ride with no a/c. Uneventful rehearsal dinner. Svenson the crazy cat attacking my toes while I slept. Loud 'ethnic' music on my sisters street all night. No interest in food. Shortest wedding ceremony, ever. Nice reception. 1/2 of my Filet Mignon. As much pinot grigio as I could put back. Difficulty dancing in the floor length gown. Avoiding bouquet that landed at my feet. Pretending I did not have a broken heart and digestive system. Driving home to get to Wellfleet in time. Sleeping in the parking lot at the beachcomber with wet dog. No phone calls. Major cramps just in time for work today.

I really am a positive person. Just highlighting the negatives of the last week.

Ted and Karen' s baby finally came out. So we got a cute baby boy this week, and that's always good.

Incomplete chain blog prison

Six random things about myself:
1) I don't feel like pissing off six people today.
2) I was home schooled until 3rd grade.
3) If I could be anything I would choose to be a contortionist.
4) I am the queen of the island of misfit boys.
5) There are people who refer to me as: "the cool kid"
6) Sarah and I are bringing back the word TWAT.
This is kinda fun
~ I hula-hoop in the dark, often.
~ The whole reason I am here is to read Susan's genius.

Here comes the bitter sister

My eldest brother is about to be married. Most in my family have been tight lipped since the news broke so as not to show her how shocked we were. Then came the fingers-crossed-behind-back holidays, but now I feel guilty because I want him to be happy, not just married because he thinks it is his last chance. She and I are not really on the same plain. It is awkward to say the least. She was horrified at the Christmas gifts I gave: donations to Heifer and reusable shopping bags, while I would rather have a crayon drawing from her than the Yankee candle oil thing that made my throat close up as soon as I opened the bottle. My sister agrees that her family and ours don't really have the same values etc. Alright, it does NOT matter what we think. They are going through with it.
What to wear:
I originally bought a $24 sassy dress that is just borderline on the sexy single sister scale. But my sister reminded me that it is a night wedding and therefore "formal". Fuck. So, I am bringing a dress to the cleaners that I paid too much for and have already worn to two weddings. SWEET! When people who know me see me in it they freak. It has gilded straps and beaded flowers. Ha-Hoo has cleavage and hips!??? and NO date, wah-wah.
That takes care of the wedding... but here goes my rant about Bridal Showers. I can think of 1,054 things I would rather be doing on a Saturday in June on Cape Cod, but no, I will be driving to WInthrop (Yuck) for a bridal shower. It will not be half as bad as I am making it out to be. I have never been to a bridal shower, what is it for? I got a gift off of the registry at Macy's. Boring. But here comes the good part. The gift bag. My bff Sarah has a collection of gift bags for us to reuse. As fate would have it the only one that would fit this gift is one with a giant pink castle and a unicorn on it (her daughters 3rd birthday, no doubt). The drive will be worth it just to see her reaction. Should I act totally normal? Like, I got it specifically for her...hmmm....delicious. Seriously, I am looking forward to seeing her. I know she has helped my brother overcome difficulties and I am happy for her. Also, I get to see my sisiter, my awesome cousins and their new babies and my mom. Then we can all laugh and laugh....

Not completely unrelated: The funniest thing Ted has done:
During the wedding ceremony for Julie and Matt. Dave, a friend who introduced the happy couple was describing that first encounter. He said something like "And in walked Matt, all six foot four of him..." At which point Ted let out a agreeable "MMmmmm Hmmm"